All Numbered Subway Trains Didn’t Work Yesterday, So Yeah, It Was A Total F’n Disaster

The MTA completed what we can consider the straight flush of delays yesterday .. 1 through 6 … THEY GOT ‘EM ALL.

Jesus Christ … When the Subway is telling you to just take trains with Letters on them, you know it’s gonna be a day.  Fortunately I was working from home yesterday, so I ended up being among those that were spared of this misery.

From afar, I knew that this Tweet meant pure disaster for thousands, because not only were half the lines down, but this occured at quite literally the worst possible time.  5:59PM – the ultimate rush hour.  This meant that all “Alternative Routes” were guaranteed shit shows with the added bonus of every platform in NYC hitting 100+ degrees.  You might as well just send the paramedics down there since you gotta hedge your bets with the elderly.  THEY GOIN’ DOWN FO SHO.  On the opposite side of the age spectrum, have a few kids set up some lemonade stands and charge a premium per glass.  Act like the platform just became the ultimate douche bar, 230th and 5th and charge $23 bucks for a cocktail.  It’s guaranteed money from a bunch of sweaty losers with backpacks holding their carbon fiber laptops.

Also, look at this attempt at homicide below …

A few things to notice in the above Tweet.  First off, love the dude in shades.  Just having the time of his life.  Probably a real “watch the world burn” type of guy.  I’m getting Joker vibes with a hint of Ozzy Osbourne.  Secondly, vetern move by the guy in the hawaiian shirt that he got from H&M.  I may or may not own this shirt as well.  It’s light and cheap, but it does the trick.  I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, the hawaiian shirt will not only keep you cool, but it’s an office hack to look semi casual professional, and still acceptable.  Always. On. Vacation.  I love it.

Anyway, yesterday sucked (for you guys).  Glad I wasn’t there.  And to think, this happens the day after the entire fucking ocean invaded the subway, nearly washing away an old man like he was Tom Hanks in Cast Away.  All the dude needed was a volleyball and he’d be all set.

Fucking A.

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