“When the chips are down, these, uhhh … civilized people? … they’ll eat each other.” – The Joker, The Dark Knight
It was only a matter of time. The heat index is increasing, the delays are a plentiful and commuters are being forced to cross railroad tracks to board their trains. And even though we all know who’s the true enemy here, that being Governor Murphy and his cronies over at NJTRANSIT, we are no match for our own pure unadulterated anger and frustration.
At some point, we were going to turn on one another. Like the Joker said in the Dark Knight, eventually we’ll all start to eat each other … and started it has.
Just like that, you have two dudes face to face in a stare down like Hogan and Warrior at WrestleMania VI. Neither was going to give in and neither had the high ground to declare superiority. They were just two losers on a sweaty train platform with a one way ticket to nowhere-ville.
What were they fighting over? Who knows, but it could be a million things. It could have been that one of them was trying to beat the traffic up the stairwell and got a little too close. As we all know, getting that first spot on the stairwell is fucking clutch. If you’re stuck in the middle of the cart, you can add on a good 30 minutes to the sad journey to your desk. Now you’re not your just, but you’re sweaty and fucking late too.
… or maybe it was that the Dad with the kids felt that Mr. Bowtie was crowding his spot on the Platform, making it dangerous for his little ones. I’m a Father now, so I can relate …
Lastly, it’s 2019, so there’s gotta be the chance that someone was expressing their Commuter Privilege (that’s gotta be a term by now, right?) Fortunately for the reputation of commuters, this time around it didn’t come to blows, HOWEVER … if I was a betting man, I’d put my money on the Dad with kids. If you got your kids with you, you basically can double your own strength as a Father. It’s science. Dad Strength, so hot right now.
Lastly, where the fuck is Stewart Mader in all of this? Isn’t he the Customer Experience Success Officer or some shit? Hey Stewie, if you read this … THIS IS REAL LIFE. Those stock photos and boring ass interviews you do, that ain’t it, bro. Come see me. I’ll tell ya like it is. I’ll be nice … promise.
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