NJTRANSIT Puts On Fire(works) Display Ahead Of 4th Of July, Delays Everyone On Earth

4th of July come early!  What a treat for the commuters of this great City to be gifted a fireworks display free of charge and without notice.   Just kidding, you already paid via your monthly pass of around $300 bucks with custom delays included!

So currently the Northeast Corridor is getting its fucking ass handed to it right now as risidual delays are still being felt from yesterday’s AMTRAK fire(works) display, where a train or one of those weird ass work-carts caught fire near the Dunkin Donuts operated Hamilton Station (that’s not a joke, it’s opened by Dunkin).  This fire ended up putting commuters up against 90+ minute delays on a Monday out of all days.  You literally couldn’t wish for a worse start to your week if you think about it.  Here you are on a shortened Holiday week, gearing up to crush some White Claws and fruity cocktails while losing to your over the hill College buddies at cornhole, only to have your plans pushed into the rearview mirror of the Mass Transit System.  There’s no better way to crush souls and destroy positive thoughts than that!

This fire basically set off a ripple effect that destroyed everyone’s commute like ex-Giants player Jason Pierre Paul did his hand a few 4th of Julys ago.  KABOOM! Look at the pretty lights!  IS THAT A FUCKIN FINGER?!!? Commuters were stranded and put in only the most inconvient situations imaginable.  Taking the PATH?  You got over-crowded platforms.  Sitting in Penn Station?  You probably burned your eyelids off staring at the LED screens informing you that it was in your best interest to cancel your 4th of July plans since you probably wouldn’t make it home before the end of the week.   Here’s what the scene when trains “started moving” …

I mean, damn yo, that place is a fucking zoo.  Now I’m no body language expert, but last time I checked slouched shoulders, crossed arms and empty stares aren’t a good sign.  It was basically total defeat.  Either that or this is a collection of every Mets and Knicks fan in the City.  You don’t just find misery like this growing on trees ya know.  THIS LEVEL OF BEAUTY NEEDS TO BE CULTIVATATED over years of mediocre performances!

This is the worst part about commuting in the City in my opinion.  If one line is affected, the entire City is.  Every line will experience massive delays because there’s only so many alternate routes people can take to get home.  If the PATH is fucked, so is Penn Station and vice versa.  No one is safe and you get best believe that NJTRANSIT’s Twitter handle was gonna hear about it.  It’s the only Twitter handle in the world that may get a full blown anxiety attack anytime it sees 100+ in the notifications section.   For the majority of us we’d probably think that 100+ notifications is our viral moment and that we’d soon be quitting our jobs for a chance at fame and a YouTube Channel that we can operate from our kitchen.  Not NJTRANSIT Twitter though, it’s just another routine dragging by its customers … (I can’t say I blame them)

It’s even worse when there’s a fire like this, because it’s not just delays, it’s essentially shutting down an entire line for the duration of rush hour.  At least if this hits first thing in the morning you can bank on it being cleaned up before the evening rush.  But when it hits mid-day, there’s no place to run, no place to hide and no way to get home … unless your husband writes blogs about it of course 😉 and you got a little heads up!

You want proof? … check out this message I got from my wife on her way home.  She knew the writing was on the wall as soon as this fire broke out and got the 411 from yours truly, so she planned ahead and get her ass on the earliest train she could make …


The 3:49PM was running over an hour and change behind.  AND THIS ISN’T EVEN THE HOLIDAY RUSH.  If you think this is bad, just wait until Wednesday night when the entire City tries to get the fuck outta dodge and leave this shithole for greener pastures.  It’s the tradition like no other I tell ya, where New Yorkers and Jersey peeps leave their homes to pretend that they live somewhere else.  It’s America’s greatest pastime.

P.S.  Currently 15 trains are delayed.  Enjoy the rest of your day.

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