The MTA Sex Toy Controversy w/ Bonus Analysis!

Just when you thought your commute couldn’t be anything but boring, the MTA flips the damn game on its head with a little sex toy controversy!

NBCNewYork – A women’s sex toy company on Tuesday filed a lawsuit against the Metropolitan Transportation Authority for refusing to run their advertisements on the subways.

Brooklyn-based Dame Products claims the MTA violated its First Amendment rights and engaged in sex discrimination by turning down its ads showing various sex toys while allowing similar provocative ads for erectile dysfunction medication, condoms and the Museum of Sex.

First off, this article is clearly a sign from above because I just so happened to stumble upon this it the same day that #DickPicAlterternatives is trending on Twitter.  Just sayin’.

So let’s break it down –

What we have here is a company that’s trying to advertise female sex toys on the Subway, but the MTA is saying “yeah, ummm, not happening“.  Naturally, people are offended and it’s made out to be about bias and discrimination of some sort, which always allows for some prime internet drama and over-reaction by those who truly don’t give a shit.

The argument is that there are other “sexual ads” on the Subway, most notably for Erectile Dysfunction and condoms, which are mostly male targeted.  The MTA’s counterargument is that ED and condoms are health related, so they’re good to go.  To be frank, I think it’s hilarious that out of all the places to advertise gettin’ a little freaky, that the Subway would be a popular spot.  Like I know we have literal freaks of nature walking around every day (myself included, I’m a dude who writes about fucking commuting), but that doesn’t mean that we should be the target audience.  Have you SEEN the people on the Subway?  They just want to get home, they ain’t thinkin’ about spicing it up in the sheets, you feel me?

Seriously, I just don’t know if there’s truly anyone out there riding the Subway who gets hit with the thought “ya know, I could go for some anal beeds right now“.   And listen, I don’t give a shit how freaky you wanna get on your own time, YOU DO YOU, but there’s a clear difference between an advertisement for condoms and something that LITERALLY READS “thank you, from the bottom of my vulva“.  Like I get you’re trying to be funny and edgy, but damn yo, that’s a swing and a miss 100%.   Ain’t nobody wants to read that while trying to avoid the crazy person preaching to them about how the world is gonna end in 30 days unless you buy their demo tape.

You see what I’m sayin?  Like I’m not saying the ladies in this piece don’t have a leg to stand on, because as I believe, everyone should have the freedom to do or create whatever the hell they want …


At some point we gotta realize that talkin’ vulvas and slingin’ sex toys while people are just trying to go to their miserable jobs is a slippery slope, because before ya know it, and I’ll guarantee this,  eventually we’re gonna have hardcore porn being performed on the Subway by a Ron Jeremy impersonator and somebody is gonna be able to claim that it’s “art”.  Case would probably make it to the Supreme Court if argued.  I could also see a scenario where your commute from Penn Station is eventually sponsored by

… and if you thought this article couldn’t get any better, just look at this fuckin guy at the end of this broadcast.  It’s almost like he knew the topic!!!  GET YA FREAK ON BRO!


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