Good Morning, Commuters! As we all collectively sit here on our commutes to work, fresh off yesterday’s good ol’ fashion power outage, that left both AMTRAK and NJTRANSIT in total disarray, I think it’s only appropriate that we take the time to reflect and examine. Over the course of the outage we saw lights flickering, air conditioners failing and hour long waits. This of course left the majority of stranded riders contemplating which of their fellow commuters they’d eat first if in fact there was a chance that they’d never make it off their train. Luckily for everyone though, it didn’t come to that.
Rather than recap the entire day (some of you may just be getting home #lol), I thought I’d give a quick snapshot into the world of commuting via the world’s most reliable source of reactions and information: Twitter. Yes, this is my personal version of Mean Tweets, but more importantly, it’s a sneak peek into the mind of the world’s most dangerous species; the NJTRANSIT commuter.
Here we go …
5. BABY WHEN THE LIGHTS … GO OUT!
Low Key Dee here got a great shot of the power outage in real time, which is all someone like myself can ask for. I can only imagine being on this train and watching this light flicker back and forth for what probably felt like eternity. You gotta think at some point the people on this train were hoping that this flickering was some paranormal activity or some shit, because if we’re being honest, being possessed by an evil spirit is probably a lot better than being stuck on a NJTRANSIT train with no lights and no hope.
4. THE NO POWER HOUR
We got ourselves a Blue Checkmark Person ya’ll! So here’s Ron, who got a ton of traction in the comment section from reporters asking to use his video in their broadcast. Me personally, I’m not gonna go that route because Ron actually liked one of my tweets today so I’m gonna go ahead and assume that we’re boys and I’m good to go! Plus, who the fuck cares. I’d say that this Tweet kick-started a lot of the hysteria online, especially because Ron called out that fact that they were chillen on the side of the road with no air conditioner. This had bad news written all over it, because when the best spot on the train is the fucking vestibule because of its superior air flow, you know you’re in the shits.
3. KEEP IT SHORT AND TO THE POINT
Hi Everyone, this is Jenn. Jen’s train is stuck in the tunnel. She needs help.
Sometimes being simple is the way to go. Quick and to the point with no dramatics. Jenn was stuck and she needed help. Did anyone come get her? I have no idea, but I did offer to tell her a joke to pass the time …
I tried. Hope you got home, Jenn!
2. LOOK ON THE “BRIGHT” SIDE
I love everything about this exchange. On one hand you have Jillian, a news anchor who is giving the 411 on her little flickering lights and 50 minute delays, while man of the people, Joshomatic is raising the stakes with his train, which basically looks like the scene from the Titanic when Leo and that selfish bitch, Rose are trying to flee for the high ground, when all of a sudden all the lights go out in the middle of the Atlantic. Shit, man, they might as well just get three guys to start playing the violins and shit like those idiots did while the ship was going down. “Gentlemen, It was a pleasure riding NJTRANSIT with you.” No joke, the scene is fucking identical …
1. MY MAN, BOB!
This guy is an absolute electric factory. Not only does he thank NJTRANSIT for the ride, but he’s visually sweating is ass off … and laughing about it. I can’t get enough. Just look at how disheveled he already looks with his tie loosened at the top. You would have thought he was COMING HOME from work, not going to it. If I had to compare it to something, I’d say he’s basically your friend that refuses to leave the dance floor during a wedding. Sweating from top to bottom, busting a move from start to finish, hitting on the bridesmaids with his tie usually ending up wrapped around his head. Love. It.
Seriously though, I think I watched this video no less than 20 times last night. I even asked my wife to watch it, but she told me I was a f’n loser and went to bed. Whatever! Her loss. Also, can we talk about the fact that he probably coined the most money phrase in commuter history “Roll Back Means Go Forward” …. Ugh, I need more Bob in my life. Hey Bob, have a follow, dude! Keep up the good fight never … stop … sweating!
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