L.I.R.R. Loses Power And Everyone Is Losing Their Minds!

The LIRR is having a rough, rough night and you just know that Governor Murphy is crying tears of joy right now that people aren’t up his ass and blaming him for everything under the sun for a change.

Like no joke, the LIRR Twitter account has tweeted about 100 updates in the last 4 hours.  I kid you not, whoever is running that account needs a raise immedaitely.  On the contrary, us NJTRANSIT riders have the most incompetant Twitter account of all time.  Just last week they were blaming Dunkin Donuts for not opening a station.  To add insult to injury, they’ve now been shown up on the grandest stage of them all.

So what the F is happening?!?!

Well, apparently some power lines have been falling like cell service on the MTA.  The news was officially broke around 6:30PM after a few updates that alluded to some “equipment trouble” which as we all know in commuter terms means, “you’re f*cked”.

An entire power line down.  You know what that means?  That’s means YOUR ASS IS WALKIN’ HOME, SON!  But hey, let’s look at the bright side, at least it’s not fucking 19 degrees outside.  I tell ya, these spoiled LIRR peeps and their bougie asses getting all the good weather.  If you ask me, they’re all a bunch of lucky SOBs, because YOU JUST KNOW that if this shit was going down in New Jersey, we’d be looking at -5 degrees and black ice conditions up the ass.

As of this writing, delays are still in progress. People are stranded and they’re miserable.  To that I say, just wait until their phone batteries start dying, because when the phones start to go, so does human decency.  You’re gonna have people fucking eating each other Hannibal Lector style.  Straight up Hunger Games Part VI in Long Island , you feel me?

Let’s check out some highlights while I’m at home sitting comfortably on my couch!

Leading off we have this visual provided by my good friend Andrew.  From what I could understand, it was at this time that he still had hope.  #LOL


Just look at these sad, sad people and Larry David himself staring at the board.  This is what false hope looks like people.  This is what defeat looks like and I can’t get enough of it if I’m being honest.  In my line of work, THIS is what commuting is all about.  In fact, I’d go as far to say that in this time of great turmoil and divide in our Country, that this is what we need.  WE NEED TO UNITE.  This is what brings us together as a people.  THIS WILL BRING WORLD PEACE!!!

…. just kidding.  It’s every man and woman for themself out there.  Like the old saying that I just created right now goes “Misery loves company, except on a train platform.”  And speaking of misery, remember my friend Andrew who sent the photo above?  Yea, ummmm, it looks like “hope” is now a distant memory …


There it is!  Hope. Is. All. Lost.

… but wait, there’s more!  Let’s check in with Angela with 5 “a’s”

Here we got some dude rockin’ his Beats headphones (or some cheap knock offs from CVS) in the middle of a train cart.  I mean damn, I want to rip on LIRR here, but I’d be remissed if I didn’t give a shout out to the quality provided by Dre in leiu of their failure.  I mean think about it, this guy clearly has no fucking idea what’s going on around him.  Talk about sound cancellation …

Anyway, let’s close out this emergency blog with a few of tonight’s greatest Tweets!

We got people stranded inside.  We got people stranded outside.  And it’s DARK outside … Which leaves one question and one question only …

Have a good night everybody!  Hope you’re home for breakfast.

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